More Vindication

The DNC loves Kenny Rogers as much as Mystery Dem.

Mind-Control Nancy?

So the bailout bill has failed. First, the facts: Democrats voted for it, albeit a little narrowly, 140 for to 95 against, while Republicans voted against it more broadly, 65 to 133. So the failure of the bill is clearly, as a matter of fact, the fault of the Republicans.

Now, the bizarre spin: Republicans are claiming that Nancy Pelosi made them vote against it. How? By making a speech that hurt their tender little feelings, even though said speech changed nothing about the compromise bill that had been agreed to in principle the night before.

Who knew that the Democratic Speaker had such powers over the Republican Congress? Of course, the Force can have a strong influence over the weak-minded....

Bob, Bob, Bob. Bob, Bob, Buh-Barr (to the tune of "Bomb Iran" by John McCain)

Gail Collins is a genius for suggesting that Bob Barr should participate in Friday's debate, seeing as how John McCain is too busy hanging out with Bill Clinton and Lady de Rothchild.


In fact, let's Bob Barr make sure to bring up Bob Barr all the Bob Barr time! As in, "hey, did you remember that Bob Barr is running for president on the Libertarian ticket?"

Maybe Barack should start issuing statements disagreeing with Barr's positions on the issues? Run an attack ad or two against Barr? Of course, that all requires spending money that might be more effectively spent elsewhere. The beauty of having Barr at the debate is that CNN foots the bill.

Mystery Democrat even wonders whether Ralph Nader should be invited to the show. It seems that Obama could only benefit from contrasting himself with Barr and Nader on the debate stage.

Mystery Democrat: Mysteriouser & Mysteriouser

Blogging is, indeed, hard. It's hard to post new things all the time! One thing you can do is post links to other things.


Using filler like that is sort of cheap, but then again so is blogging.

The Great Debater

Incidentally, just so we're clear on this, Senator John S. McCain is the finest debater in all of history.

He's seen a million faces, and he's rocked them all. Demosthenes, Lincoln, Churchill -- nothing, next to Senator John McCain.

With all the gravitas of his years of experience, his expertise in domestic legislation and foreign policy, his maverick credentials and -- oh, did you happen to know he was a brave prisoner of war? -- callow Obama will do well just to stand on the same stage and appear vaguely plausible, and not like some whelp lacking the many, many, many years of experience of his opponent.

In fact, facing a juggernaut of logic and rhetoric like Senator John McCain, it will be a miracle if Obama, who has seemed cold and professorial at prior debates, even shows up at all!

Drill Instructor

In response to the Folksy Allegory proposed earlier, commenter AD (clearly some sort of elitist with too much knowledge to be trusted) writes:

It's a good allegory, but it's questionably apposite. Can you really say how much oil there is in ANWAR, e.g., what difference it will make and when, and how bad it will hurt the ecosystem and aesthetics of the land in question? I think the problem with the ANWAR issue is that no one really knows. Very few people visit the land, but it's one of the few truly wild and natural places in our country. The economic value of drilling is also a mystery. We really oppose it on principle, just as some favor it on principle: people who think (1) government should help entrepreneurs make money and/or (2) liberals have taken over the government and care too much about fish and moose and not enough about their (the peoples') economic problems. The allegory doesn't work because it works based on stark assumptions about the value of the benefit and the cost, which are in reality unproven and value-laden, or at least in the average undecided voter's mind.

To respond:

1) Mystery Democrat deliberately elided the issue of coastal drilling with the issue of ANWR drilling for a few reasons. One is that Mystery Democrat doesn't know anything about mineral extraction, nature, the environment, Alaska or off-shore oil rigs. Secondly, it would seem to be a good idea to lump all "drilling" together rhetorically, since most of the voting public shares Mystery Dem's ignorance, and it's easier to just attack all drilling than to say, OK, some drilling is OK but other drilling isn't and the American people are like, stop, stop, make up your mind we are so bored stop making us listen to all these words you flip-flopper.

2) People seem to be annoyed when killjoys tell them they can't have a good time all the time. The drilling issue was working (somewhat) for McCain, because people were all like, OK, maybe it will only lower gas prices a little, but why wouldn't you try it? Is it because you are EAST COAST ELITE KILLJOYS WHO LOOK DOWN ON ME AND THE REST OF REAL AMERICANS? And also, DO SOMETHING!

So it seemed like the best way to convince voters that drilling was a bad idea was to say that it was a losing proposition. Not worth the effort. Costs more than it'll make, and we're spoiling this nice park and/or beach and/or waterfront at the same time.

And if the facts are otherwise, then you can have your facts, my good sir.

Although I suppose the most important thing here is that energy prices have, at least for the moment, been supplanted as the primary economic concern in voters' minds at the moment, so it's probably not the time to bring back all that drilling talk...

Oil rig photo used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user ccgd.

Shows what I knows...

According to baseball/political stats guru Nate Silver, this independent ad produced by Defenders of Wildlife scored remarkably well with focus groups, resulting in a six-point swing to Obama after watching it.



This just shows why Mystery Democrat should stick to his or her day job, because viewing this ad caused Mystery Dem all kindsa agita about how the last thing we want is to be associated with tree-hugging anti-hunting bleeding hearts who don't see the threat in wolves, which, after all, seems to have historically been a successful charge against Democrats.

Partial Vindication

Barack and the Mystery Democrat are simpatico on social security (cf. Gambler):



MD is concerned that the ad is too gentle and doesn't mock the privatization plan enough. It's a delicate balance, since people are anxious over the Wall St. turmoil, so maybe the idea is to be more comforting. But MD thinks that offering comfort and stability is all the more appealing when you've drawn a sharper contrast to a reckless, risk-taking mavericky gambler.

The Gambler

John McCain likes to gamble. (quote from Time: McC has played craps "on Mississippi riverboats") With more houses than he can remember, he can afford to bet his own money.

But that's not all John McCain likes to bet on. He supports George Bush's reckless plan to privatize Social Security so that Wall Street could gamble with your benefits. And he voted against sensible regulations of the financial industry [395*] times, letting Wall Street run wild as the stakes only got higher.

But now this riverboat gambler is complaining about a "casino culture on Wall Street"? Come on, John McCain.

Barack Obama will protect social security and make sure Wall Street plays by the rules.

I'm Barack Obama, and I approved this message, because we can't afford to gamble on our future.

* Number still made up.

Foxes

Since they seem to like wolves, I thought maybe we'd go with foxes.

For eight years, Republicans like George Bush and John McCain have been letting the foxes watch the henhouse on Wall Street. (Show quote of McCain calling himself a "deregulator"). Some big Wall Street firms took too many risks, and today, your taxes are going to bail them out -- including big payouts to the CEOs.

Now John McCain claims he's going to reform Wall Street, but he's voted against sensible regulations of the financial industry [395*] times. How can we trust him now that he's changed his tune? (maybe show McC saying "the fundamentals of the economy are strong" and then some of the backtracking about no, no we're really in crisis)

Barack Obama has a plan to bring new rules to Wall Street and make sure they're fairly applied. He'll fix this mess and make sure it never happens again. That's the change we need.

* made-up number. Research!!

Get Away, Kid -- You Bother Me

Hmph. Apparently we might not be the change Barack's been waiting for. On Slate, Christopher Beam summarizes all of the unsolicited (and contradictory) advice that Obama's getting lately.

Folksy Allegories

One thing the Mystery Democrat has always pined for is a kind of Will Rogers candidate who could advance liberal causes through the pinpoint deployment of folksy metaphors. But in the reality-based world, this rhetorical tactic is pretty tricky to pull off. Last week, we saw the McCain campaign's annoyingly successful attempt to make hay (stop me!) out of Obama's use of a porcine aphorism.

Still, we try:

John McCain and the Republicans are talking about drilling our way out of high energy prices. But it'll take years to get the drilling done, and there's just not that much oil there. It's like if you owe the bank ten thousand dollars, so you cut up your sofa with a knife and shake out a buck fifty that got stuck in there. Now you owe nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-eight fifty, and you need a new sofa!

See? This is why they keep my kind on an island off the coast of America, far from the heartland. It's a bad allegory, and it's probably a bad issue for Barack, too.

Blogging is hard!

Too Easy! McCain Invents Blackberry

This one basically writes itself, so you don't need Mystery Democrat's help here.

John McCain's chief economic advisor, Douglas Holtz-Eakin, who is something of a liability to the campaign inasmuch as he is in the occasional habit of telling the truth, has apparently credited his boss with inventing the Blackberry.

UPDATE: I think this story plays into two different (if overlapping) frames: first, that McCain is a dishonorable lying liar, a frame that was set up pretty well by the "Dishonorable" ad. The second frame would be that McCain is not serious, that he's impish, impulsive, and reckless - the downside of the "maverick" label.

When Palin was selected, I thought the careless/reckless frame would be the best response, especially given the petulant and underprepared manner of the choice, but the process story on the selection process pretty much died after her convention speech was well-received.

Still, it seems like people know that Barack and Biden are serious and sober, maybe even a little dull. And while David Brooks thinks that the weirder candidate will win, I think that if Obama/Biden is the default, comfortingly stable ticket, and if McCain/Palin is the News of the Weird ticket, people might take dull over odd, especially with the economy flaming out...

Vindication Again!

Barack's team and the Mystery Democrat are on the same page once again:

I'm not sure I would've gone with the C&C Music Factory soundtrack, but then again, I'm not the sort of ordinary, hard-working American that has a tanning bed around the house.

Fundamentals Are Strong

VO: John McCain says the fundamentals of the economy are strong (show footage of him saying that on five different occasions. Maybe key in Rome burning in the background?) (also show WSJ and other headlines about how bad the economy is, Lehman, Bear Stearns, bailouts, whatever).

Sound familiar? (show MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, HECKUVA JOB BROWNIE (with 1-2 secs of agonizing Katrina footage, then morph or montage or split screen McCain and Bush saying the same thing about the fundamentals are strong and finally finish with THE HUG).

Who can you trust to fix this economy? John McCain and the Republicans just want to give us more of the same reckless policies and corporate giveaways. This November, vote Obama-Biden to protect the middle class, balance the budget, and bring prosperity for all, not just some (show greedy fatcats with golden parachutes while nice middle class people have to give up their house).

(Maybe in the extended remix, we could bring back him not knowing how many houses he has? Like, he says the fundamentals are strong, but that's easy for him to say, he has so many houses he doesn't know how many!)

Too Much Health Care?

VO: John McCain and the Republicans think you're using too much health care. They want to tax your benefits it so you won't use it too much.

Visuals: nice mommy about to put a band-aid on her little kid's boo-boo. A mean Republican (like the clipboard guy on the last episode of Mr. Show) takes the band-aid away before she can put it on.

A HARD WORKING AMERICAN is at the doctor. Just as the doctor is about to put a stethoscope to his/her (not sure) chest, mean clipboard guy comes and takes it away. (can add additional instances of clipboard guy interrupting health care, like maybe someone about to have surgery or get a cast off of a broken leg or something)

VO: Enough is enough. Let's change America so that health care is affordable, available and comes from the doctor of your choice.

Grand OLD Party

I had this idea last week, and then the Obama campaign sort of made it themselves, which felt rather vindicating. Although naturally, when they did it, I complained that they got it all wrong. Critics.

---------------------------

An old guy from oldland puts a 78 on a victrola. The label says Grand OLD Party, OLD Republican Favorites or something and it skips and just says "tax cuts for the rich, tax cuts for the rich" or "borrow and spend, borrow and spend" or something over and over.

VO: Tired of hearing the same old thing from Washington? Had enough? It's time for a change in America. Vote Obama-Biden, because we can't afford four more years of the same.

Then, the wall explodes, and it's DIAMOND DAVE with a bunch of beautiful girls in bikinis and the old guy grimaces at the camera like DAMN KIDS ITS NOT EVEN MUSIC JUST NOISE.

Welcome

Like many anxious Obamaphiles, this author has been fretting on the sidelines ever since the Republican Convention. Part of that hand-wringing process has been sketching out ad ideas that Mr. Obama et al. might use to bring about the Change We Need. Thus far, this author has only mailed these around to his friends, who have responded with varieties of indifference. Suitably encouraged, and in the "let's-put-on-the-show-right-here" spirit of These Bloggish Times, this author decided embark on this little endeavor to share these ad ideas with a broader (but similarly indifferent) audience.

Are they actually serious ad ideas, or self-parodies? I don't even know anymore. Enjoy. Or not.