Change We Can Hardly Believe. We've Got To Pinch Ourselves!

Well folks, our work here is done. After a brief period in early September which seemed like an unsteady moment for Obama's campaign, but which in retrospect was probably just a post-convention and Palin-novelty bounce for McCain, Barack ran a laudable campaign, and Mystery Dem is not just saying that because he won.


Happy trails!

Mystery Dem: Golden Oldies

Since Mystery Dem seems to have run out of bright ideas with regard to Barack Obama, how's about going back to some golden oldies composed for John F. Kerry, Esq.?

"Mr. Bush and his henchmen have been going around making a lot of baseless accusations about me. Let me make things abundantly clear: I do not give a damn about being friends with the world. My only concern is for the safety and well-being of the American people. And I would not hesitate to stand alone against every other nation on the earth if it were in the best interests of America to do so. Mr. Bush has chosen to stand alone against much of the [civilized] world in his haste to invade Iraq. My question to you is: was it worth it? Was it worth $200 million, borne by us alone? Was it worth the far greater cost of a thousand American lives?"

Sept. 9, 2004

(Mystery Dem hadn't figured out how to make these bloggerations back then.)

Palin's Radical Associations

BREAKING NEWS!! MUST CREDIT MYSTERY DEM!!!

Sarah Palin has accused Barack Obama of associating with terrorists. But the facts are that Barack Obama ran against former Black Panther Bobby Rush. And where does Sarah Palin stand on the Black Panthers? Newly-discovered evidence suggests Palin and her husband have associations with Black Panther Huey Newton going back over twenty-five years.

The evidence speaks for itself:

When will Sarah Palin tell the American people the real story about her radical associations?

The B-Word

If I were Steve Schmidt, I'd be trying to turn this into Willie Horton tout de suite.

If I were David Axelrod, I'd try to get out in front of this. I know the fear is to make the story bigger, but maybe if Obama one-upped McCain's repudiation of his wingnut supporters in a general way, talked about how this election was important but we're all Americans and if there are people who are going to beat each other up based on their political views, he doesn't want their votes. How about that?

UPDATE: Maybe it's a hoax. Still, Mystery Dem doesn't see how Obama loses anything by vaguely disavowing impolite supporters.

UPDATE: OK, it's a hoax. Um, as you were.

Q.E.D.

Amazingly, even though Mystery Democrat hasn't had too much to say lately, Barack seems to be doing OK. But surely it is no coincidence that Obama's fortunes seemed to turn only after Mystery Dem broke onto the scene, no? Indeed, without MD's guidance from the sidelines, could the Obama campaign have produced as forceful and effective a piece as this?

(Un)live Blogging

Mystery Dem thinks McCain did better this time, but still came off as sour, and Barack was unflappable. 10:31pm

Mystery Dem is finding out if Michelle Rhee supports vouchers. 10:26pm

Mystery Dem is wondering if McCain is turning off his base by attacking Bush and not towing the line on abortion. Does he lose as many voters as he might gain? 10:09pm

If McCain loves private health insurance so much, why has he had public, taxpayer-funded healthcare his entire life? 10:05pm

Mystery Dem believes that Indonesia is south of the U.S. border. 9:53pm

McCain shouldn't say "cockamamie" and Obama shouldn't say "profligate". 9:46pm

So McCain was FORCED to run a dirty campaign because Barack wouldn't do enough town halls? 9:26pm

Why can't Barack just say, no, I haven't reached across the aisle to the Republicans for the last few years because they've been WRONG and ruining the country? 9:23pm

If Republicans can always say that this is the worst time to raise taxes on anyone, why can't Democrats say that this would be the worst time to cut spending? 9:22pm

So McCain is proposing a Neo-Hooverite anti-Keynesian economic death spiral? 9:18pm

Mystery Dem is glad that Barack decided not to wish Nancy Reagan well. Is that mean of him? 9:08pm

So he blames pro-home-ownership policies for the financial crisis (which is a lie, BTW) and his solution is... pro-home-ownership policies? 9:05pm

Bridge to the 20th Century

During the last debate, Mystery Dem wondered "why Barack can't bring up the prosperity under the Clinton administration. Is it just because he doesn't get along with Bill?"

Apparently, whatever problem Barack had with the 42nd president has been worked through, because he's name-checking Bill Clinton on the campaign trail.

While the initial judgment of Clinton's presidency, cast just after it ended, with the Lewinsky scandal and Marc Rich fresh in the mind, was one of disappointment that he did not accomplish more, considering that he had (has!) the rare combination of a wonk's grasp on policy and a seducer's talent for persuasion, in light of what followed it, his administration now seems like a remarkable success, with its peace, prosperity and quiet competence.

The chart at left, from the Boston Globe, pretty much says it all...

Liveblogging

Mystery Dem is glad that Barack rephrased "cost-benefit analysis" as "puttin' the squeeze on 'em," though it's of course blasphemy to suggest Iran might behave rationally. 10:30pm

Wasn't McCain calling for Russia to be dropped from the G8? 10:21pm

Mystery Dem finds McCain's refrain about how he "knows how" to do things unconvincing, but as he often notes, his opinion doesn't matter much 'round here. 10:18pm

OH SCHNAPP!! OH NO YOU DIDN'T!! WHO'S GOT THE BIG STICK NOW, BOYEE?? 10:14pm

Mystery Dem thinks it's rich that McCain, who supports needless and counterproductive belligerence around the world, is lecturing Barack. 10:12pm

CRUSH KILL DESTROY STRESS!! 10:11pm

Mystery Dem is impressed with the Pakistan sovereignty question, but he wishes BHO would pronounce Pakistan like an American. 10:09pm

Mystery Dem can't believe that McCain is trying to present himself as the cool hand! He's actually blowing his top while he says it, which sort of undermines the point. 10:07pm

Barack shouldn't have taken the bait on the "moral obligation" issue, but thinks his pivot seems good. 10:05pm

Mystery Dem is wondering whether Obama should point out that McCain opposed Kosovo and called instead for a ground invasion of Serbia. 10:01pm

The crowd is not in the mood for jokes. 9:59pm

Mystery Dem is thinking this is a good moment for Barack on health care. 9:57pm

Mystery Dem sort of wished that Barack actually answered this question about whether health care is a commodity, because it would be a good way to attack McCain's plan. 9:52pm

Mystery Dem is not impressed with Tom Brokaw's question. Should we have chocolate or candy? How about a bit of both? 9:48pm

Mystery Dem doesn't understand why Barack can't bring up the prosperity under the Clinton administration. Is it just because he doesn't get along with Bill? 9:41pm

George H.W. Bush & Bill Clinton raised taxes during a downturn and it led to the longest expansion of the century. 9:36pm

Oh, he did it! Yes we can! 9:35pm

Barack started strong on the sacrifice thing, but then kind of fizzled into small bore stuff. How about "I'm asking people making more than $250k to sacrifice a little bit of their large salaries for the common good, so that we can continue to build and maintain roads and schools and bridges. Senator McCain thinks that these rich people shouldn't be asked to sacrifice and the rest of us should sacrifice our roads, bridges and schools so that rich people can keep more of their money." 9:32pm

Whoa! McCain just touched the third rail! Maybe he'll get some energy out of it. 9:24pm

Barack shouldn't be afraid to say the word "Republican.". 9:21pm

This format doesn't stimulate a lot of interesting responses. 9:19pm

Mystery Dem notes that the "rescue" package didn't pass until Sen. McCain unsuspended his campaign. 9:13pm

Also, now Mr. Deficit Hawk who's not going to cut anyone's taxes is going to buy everyone's mortgage? 9:11pm

So where's the money to buy everyone's mortgage is going to come from. Oh yeah, earmark reform! 9:08pm

Erratic Maverick

Mystery Dem may have to hang up his spurs. He's got nothing to teach a campaign that could produce this withering character underminer. There is a teeny bit of vindication here, inasmuch as it tries to emphasize all the negative connotations of maverickism.

The angry white family is a little cheesy, but I think it's effective.

McCain & Palin: Taxes for Thee, Not for Me

Sarah Palin didn't pay taxes on $17,000 worth of per diem payments she received from the state of Alaska. The payments are intended to compensate state officials for travel expenses when they need to travel for state business, but Palin took per diems almost exclusively for days on which she stayed at her home in Wasilla.

Still, whether or not you think it's an appropriate claim for per diem payments, the McCain campaign doesn't think that these per diems constitute taxable income, and so Palin received them tax-free. Generally speaking, fringe benefits (like travel reimbursement, relocation expenses, business meals, &c.) are not considered taxable income.

But it's certainly notable that while Gov. Palin does not want to pay taxes on her (potentially improper) per diems, the McCain campaign is proposing that all Americans should have to pay taxes on employer-provided health care benefits.

Photo used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user herzogbr.

Post-hoc Live-Blogging

Also, why didn't we hear more about the Bush Administration? I know Palin had that "there you go again" schtick prepared to counter it, but I don't think that was a very strong defense. Lord, I know we all long for the once-in-a-lifetime political skills of Bill Clinton, but Biden, no stranger to the occasional plagiarism, would have done well to swipe Clinton's line from the Convention: "Republicans like John McCain and Sarah Palin want us to reward them for the last eight years by giving them four more!" 10:44pm

Biden finished OK, but on the whole, Palin had the slight edge. She didn't even just exceed her low expectations, she was actually reasonably fluent after a slightly wavering start. Biden, on the other hand, seemed to have taken the strategy of adopting Palin's tortured sentence structures. Not that either one of them is going to be president of the Oxford Union, but I actually think if you look at the text, Joe Biden made less sense than Sarah Palin! Very bad, Joe. 10:36pm

Mystery Dem has had it with bipartisanship. How about we say that we'll work with people who have good ideas for America, regardless of party, but we're not going to work out those who want to follow the failed policies of the last eight years just so we can say we're "reaching across the aisle"? 10:28pm

Biden: "My achilles heel is that I talk too much. So I'll keep quiet and let Gov. Palin have another chance to actually answer the question." 10:19pm

It's shameful how Palin keeps plugging the idiotic "2 mavericks" slogan, but it'd be less effective if we'd pre-attacked the "maverick" brand as Mystery Dem proposed. 10:12pm

Why can't a Democrat ever say that the test for military intervention is whether it's in the American goddam national interest?!? 10:07pm

Biden STOP APOLOGIZING AND EXPLAINING! Best defense = good offense! 10:06pm

Biden, Biden: Palin was for the Bridge to Nowhere before she was against it. Ditto with McCain who wants to veto his own bills on immigration and the bailout! 10:05pm

How can Biden actually be less coherent than Palin. Oh Hillary, I take it all back... 10:03pm

I hate this debate format, and think Biden's kind of awful. 9:57pm

Re the diplomacy of "serious people" -- is it "serious" to sing "Bomb Iran?". 9:52pm

I wants to shake Biden and tell him to stop clarifying and apologizing! 9:50pm

Biden did pretty OK with the Iraq question. 9:45pm

Senator O'Biden. 9:35pm

Biden is barely more coherent than Palin. 9:30pm

Palin probably should bring up the phrase "rearing his head." 9:27pm

Ralph Stanley

Notwithstanding the racially complex history of the banjo -- or perhaps, in fact, precisely because of that history -- this Obama ad featuring bluegrass legend Dr. Ralph Stanley seems spot on.

Mystery Dem cannot resist hoping that we will not be in constant sorrow after election day...

Transcript: "Howdy, friends. This is Ralph Stanley, and I think I know a little something about the families around here.

"Barack'll cut taxes for everyday folks -- not big business -- so you'll have a little more money in your pocket at the end of the year. I also know Barack is a good man. A father and devoted husband, he values personal responsibility and family first."

Click To Play

More Vindication

The DNC loves Kenny Rogers as much as Mystery Dem.

Mind-Control Nancy?

So the bailout bill has failed. First, the facts: Democrats voted for it, albeit a little narrowly, 140 for to 95 against, while Republicans voted against it more broadly, 65 to 133. So the failure of the bill is clearly, as a matter of fact, the fault of the Republicans.

Now, the bizarre spin: Republicans are claiming that Nancy Pelosi made them vote against it. How? By making a speech that hurt their tender little feelings, even though said speech changed nothing about the compromise bill that had been agreed to in principle the night before.

Who knew that the Democratic Speaker had such powers over the Republican Congress? Of course, the Force can have a strong influence over the weak-minded....

Bob, Bob, Bob. Bob, Bob, Buh-Barr (to the tune of "Bomb Iran" by John McCain)

Gail Collins is a genius for suggesting that Bob Barr should participate in Friday's debate, seeing as how John McCain is too busy hanging out with Bill Clinton and Lady de Rothchild.


In fact, let's Bob Barr make sure to bring up Bob Barr all the Bob Barr time! As in, "hey, did you remember that Bob Barr is running for president on the Libertarian ticket?"

Maybe Barack should start issuing statements disagreeing with Barr's positions on the issues? Run an attack ad or two against Barr? Of course, that all requires spending money that might be more effectively spent elsewhere. The beauty of having Barr at the debate is that CNN foots the bill.

Mystery Democrat even wonders whether Ralph Nader should be invited to the show. It seems that Obama could only benefit from contrasting himself with Barr and Nader on the debate stage.

Mystery Democrat: Mysteriouser & Mysteriouser

Blogging is, indeed, hard. It's hard to post new things all the time! One thing you can do is post links to other things.


Using filler like that is sort of cheap, but then again so is blogging.

The Great Debater

Incidentally, just so we're clear on this, Senator John S. McCain is the finest debater in all of history.

He's seen a million faces, and he's rocked them all. Demosthenes, Lincoln, Churchill -- nothing, next to Senator John McCain.

With all the gravitas of his years of experience, his expertise in domestic legislation and foreign policy, his maverick credentials and -- oh, did you happen to know he was a brave prisoner of war? -- callow Obama will do well just to stand on the same stage and appear vaguely plausible, and not like some whelp lacking the many, many, many years of experience of his opponent.

In fact, facing a juggernaut of logic and rhetoric like Senator John McCain, it will be a miracle if Obama, who has seemed cold and professorial at prior debates, even shows up at all!

Drill Instructor

In response to the Folksy Allegory proposed earlier, commenter AD (clearly some sort of elitist with too much knowledge to be trusted) writes:

It's a good allegory, but it's questionably apposite. Can you really say how much oil there is in ANWAR, e.g., what difference it will make and when, and how bad it will hurt the ecosystem and aesthetics of the land in question? I think the problem with the ANWAR issue is that no one really knows. Very few people visit the land, but it's one of the few truly wild and natural places in our country. The economic value of drilling is also a mystery. We really oppose it on principle, just as some favor it on principle: people who think (1) government should help entrepreneurs make money and/or (2) liberals have taken over the government and care too much about fish and moose and not enough about their (the peoples') economic problems. The allegory doesn't work because it works based on stark assumptions about the value of the benefit and the cost, which are in reality unproven and value-laden, or at least in the average undecided voter's mind.

To respond:

1) Mystery Democrat deliberately elided the issue of coastal drilling with the issue of ANWR drilling for a few reasons. One is that Mystery Democrat doesn't know anything about mineral extraction, nature, the environment, Alaska or off-shore oil rigs. Secondly, it would seem to be a good idea to lump all "drilling" together rhetorically, since most of the voting public shares Mystery Dem's ignorance, and it's easier to just attack all drilling than to say, OK, some drilling is OK but other drilling isn't and the American people are like, stop, stop, make up your mind we are so bored stop making us listen to all these words you flip-flopper.

2) People seem to be annoyed when killjoys tell them they can't have a good time all the time. The drilling issue was working (somewhat) for McCain, because people were all like, OK, maybe it will only lower gas prices a little, but why wouldn't you try it? Is it because you are EAST COAST ELITE KILLJOYS WHO LOOK DOWN ON ME AND THE REST OF REAL AMERICANS? And also, DO SOMETHING!

So it seemed like the best way to convince voters that drilling was a bad idea was to say that it was a losing proposition. Not worth the effort. Costs more than it'll make, and we're spoiling this nice park and/or beach and/or waterfront at the same time.

And if the facts are otherwise, then you can have your facts, my good sir.

Although I suppose the most important thing here is that energy prices have, at least for the moment, been supplanted as the primary economic concern in voters' minds at the moment, so it's probably not the time to bring back all that drilling talk...

Oil rig photo used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user ccgd.

Shows what I knows...

According to baseball/political stats guru Nate Silver, this independent ad produced by Defenders of Wildlife scored remarkably well with focus groups, resulting in a six-point swing to Obama after watching it.



This just shows why Mystery Democrat should stick to his or her day job, because viewing this ad caused Mystery Dem all kindsa agita about how the last thing we want is to be associated with tree-hugging anti-hunting bleeding hearts who don't see the threat in wolves, which, after all, seems to have historically been a successful charge against Democrats.

Partial Vindication

Barack and the Mystery Democrat are simpatico on social security (cf. Gambler):



MD is concerned that the ad is too gentle and doesn't mock the privatization plan enough. It's a delicate balance, since people are anxious over the Wall St. turmoil, so maybe the idea is to be more comforting. But MD thinks that offering comfort and stability is all the more appealing when you've drawn a sharper contrast to a reckless, risk-taking mavericky gambler.

The Gambler

John McCain likes to gamble. (quote from Time: McC has played craps "on Mississippi riverboats") With more houses than he can remember, he can afford to bet his own money.

But that's not all John McCain likes to bet on. He supports George Bush's reckless plan to privatize Social Security so that Wall Street could gamble with your benefits. And he voted against sensible regulations of the financial industry [395*] times, letting Wall Street run wild as the stakes only got higher.

But now this riverboat gambler is complaining about a "casino culture on Wall Street"? Come on, John McCain.

Barack Obama will protect social security and make sure Wall Street plays by the rules.

I'm Barack Obama, and I approved this message, because we can't afford to gamble on our future.

* Number still made up.

Foxes

Since they seem to like wolves, I thought maybe we'd go with foxes.

For eight years, Republicans like George Bush and John McCain have been letting the foxes watch the henhouse on Wall Street. (Show quote of McCain calling himself a "deregulator"). Some big Wall Street firms took too many risks, and today, your taxes are going to bail them out -- including big payouts to the CEOs.

Now John McCain claims he's going to reform Wall Street, but he's voted against sensible regulations of the financial industry [395*] times. How can we trust him now that he's changed his tune? (maybe show McC saying "the fundamentals of the economy are strong" and then some of the backtracking about no, no we're really in crisis)

Barack Obama has a plan to bring new rules to Wall Street and make sure they're fairly applied. He'll fix this mess and make sure it never happens again. That's the change we need.

* made-up number. Research!!

Get Away, Kid -- You Bother Me

Hmph. Apparently we might not be the change Barack's been waiting for. On Slate, Christopher Beam summarizes all of the unsolicited (and contradictory) advice that Obama's getting lately.

Folksy Allegories

One thing the Mystery Democrat has always pined for is a kind of Will Rogers candidate who could advance liberal causes through the pinpoint deployment of folksy metaphors. But in the reality-based world, this rhetorical tactic is pretty tricky to pull off. Last week, we saw the McCain campaign's annoyingly successful attempt to make hay (stop me!) out of Obama's use of a porcine aphorism.

Still, we try:

John McCain and the Republicans are talking about drilling our way out of high energy prices. But it'll take years to get the drilling done, and there's just not that much oil there. It's like if you owe the bank ten thousand dollars, so you cut up your sofa with a knife and shake out a buck fifty that got stuck in there. Now you owe nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-eight fifty, and you need a new sofa!

See? This is why they keep my kind on an island off the coast of America, far from the heartland. It's a bad allegory, and it's probably a bad issue for Barack, too.

Blogging is hard!

Too Easy! McCain Invents Blackberry

This one basically writes itself, so you don't need Mystery Democrat's help here.

John McCain's chief economic advisor, Douglas Holtz-Eakin, who is something of a liability to the campaign inasmuch as he is in the occasional habit of telling the truth, has apparently credited his boss with inventing the Blackberry.

UPDATE: I think this story plays into two different (if overlapping) frames: first, that McCain is a dishonorable lying liar, a frame that was set up pretty well by the "Dishonorable" ad. The second frame would be that McCain is not serious, that he's impish, impulsive, and reckless - the downside of the "maverick" label.

When Palin was selected, I thought the careless/reckless frame would be the best response, especially given the petulant and underprepared manner of the choice, but the process story on the selection process pretty much died after her convention speech was well-received.

Still, it seems like people know that Barack and Biden are serious and sober, maybe even a little dull. And while David Brooks thinks that the weirder candidate will win, I think that if Obama/Biden is the default, comfortingly stable ticket, and if McCain/Palin is the News of the Weird ticket, people might take dull over odd, especially with the economy flaming out...

Vindication Again!

Barack's team and the Mystery Democrat are on the same page once again:

I'm not sure I would've gone with the C&C Music Factory soundtrack, but then again, I'm not the sort of ordinary, hard-working American that has a tanning bed around the house.

Fundamentals Are Strong

VO: John McCain says the fundamentals of the economy are strong (show footage of him saying that on five different occasions. Maybe key in Rome burning in the background?) (also show WSJ and other headlines about how bad the economy is, Lehman, Bear Stearns, bailouts, whatever).

Sound familiar? (show MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, HECKUVA JOB BROWNIE (with 1-2 secs of agonizing Katrina footage, then morph or montage or split screen McCain and Bush saying the same thing about the fundamentals are strong and finally finish with THE HUG).

Who can you trust to fix this economy? John McCain and the Republicans just want to give us more of the same reckless policies and corporate giveaways. This November, vote Obama-Biden to protect the middle class, balance the budget, and bring prosperity for all, not just some (show greedy fatcats with golden parachutes while nice middle class people have to give up their house).

(Maybe in the extended remix, we could bring back him not knowing how many houses he has? Like, he says the fundamentals are strong, but that's easy for him to say, he has so many houses he doesn't know how many!)

Too Much Health Care?

VO: John McCain and the Republicans think you're using too much health care. They want to tax your benefits it so you won't use it too much.

Visuals: nice mommy about to put a band-aid on her little kid's boo-boo. A mean Republican (like the clipboard guy on the last episode of Mr. Show) takes the band-aid away before she can put it on.

A HARD WORKING AMERICAN is at the doctor. Just as the doctor is about to put a stethoscope to his/her (not sure) chest, mean clipboard guy comes and takes it away. (can add additional instances of clipboard guy interrupting health care, like maybe someone about to have surgery or get a cast off of a broken leg or something)

VO: Enough is enough. Let's change America so that health care is affordable, available and comes from the doctor of your choice.

Grand OLD Party

I had this idea last week, and then the Obama campaign sort of made it themselves, which felt rather vindicating. Although naturally, when they did it, I complained that they got it all wrong. Critics.

---------------------------

An old guy from oldland puts a 78 on a victrola. The label says Grand OLD Party, OLD Republican Favorites or something and it skips and just says "tax cuts for the rich, tax cuts for the rich" or "borrow and spend, borrow and spend" or something over and over.

VO: Tired of hearing the same old thing from Washington? Had enough? It's time for a change in America. Vote Obama-Biden, because we can't afford four more years of the same.

Then, the wall explodes, and it's DIAMOND DAVE with a bunch of beautiful girls in bikinis and the old guy grimaces at the camera like DAMN KIDS ITS NOT EVEN MUSIC JUST NOISE.

Welcome

Like many anxious Obamaphiles, this author has been fretting on the sidelines ever since the Republican Convention. Part of that hand-wringing process has been sketching out ad ideas that Mr. Obama et al. might use to bring about the Change We Need. Thus far, this author has only mailed these around to his friends, who have responded with varieties of indifference. Suitably encouraged, and in the "let's-put-on-the-show-right-here" spirit of These Bloggish Times, this author decided embark on this little endeavor to share these ad ideas with a broader (but similarly indifferent) audience.

Are they actually serious ad ideas, or self-parodies? I don't even know anymore. Enjoy. Or not.